Moving In Together: To be or not to be, that is the question!

  • May 22, 2017
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Mr Sunshine wants to move in.  I’m almost certain I want him to.  Almost.  99% sure in fact.

We’ve been together for 13 years.  That’s pretty good going in this day and age.  But, ooh, I worry it’s lasted that long because we don’t live together.  We’ve been having ‘moving in conversations’ for a few weeks now. He’s told me he’s bored of living alone, he wants us to be together, and “the sooner the better Jane”.  The sooner the better actually means later on this year.  Mr Sunshine’s daughter is due to join the ranks of the poor student in September, so he feels that this will be the optimum time to pack up his shit, and move it into my house.  By shit, I mean things like this…..  and this….  and even bloody worse, this…. Where the hell am I going to find a ‘suitable’ place to hang these works of art???

Aside from all the paraphernalia, I worry that it won’t work; him living in my house.  Because then it will be ‘our’ house.  I don’t mean to sound selfish, as I’m the first person to throw my doors open and roll out the welcome mat to anybody, but I feel like all our eggs would be in one basket.  At the moment we have a safety net; our own bolthole if either of us wants or needs space.  As it is, we generally only see each other at weekends and sometimes one night during the week if his work allows.  Living together would be Seven. Days. A. Week.

I suppose there are pros and cons to every situation.  I just have to be more analytical.  So I’ve written a list:

Living together would be a positive move for our son, as well as us.  Wouldn’t it?

Pros:  Our boy would love for his Dad to be with us 24/7.  They have such a special relationship.  Some people might think that Mr Sunshine has a ‘cushty’ life; the nice bits.  After all, he doesn’t have to deal with the daily grind of juggling work, kids and school (or a nagging other half).  He doesn’t have to worry about who is picking Jude up from school if we’re both at work; which after school clubs he’s attending; what days he’s having school dinners or packed lunch.  But what those people might not see is that Mr Sunshine will put himself out; he’ll regularly drive 25 miles in the wrong direction from his work at 7.30 in the morning, just so that he can spend 15 minutes with Jude, taking him to school. He also completely rejigs his hours at work so that he can pick him up on a Friday afternoon.  

Jude says more and more “I wish Dad were here…” and it sometimes hurts my heart that he doesn’t seem to call anywhere home.  Just Mummy’s house or Daddy’s house.  He’s never known any different, so it’s not so bad; I just can’t wait for him to say “home”, and I know that Mr Sunshine feels the same.

Cons:  He gets on my tits.

Sharing the chores.

Pros:  I, like most women get bogged down with the boring domestic stuff.  The minute I finish tidying up it seems like the cycle begins again.  My house never stays clean and tidy for more than 30 minutes: it’s a finely honed skill that’s taken over 40 years to perfect, and I think I have it in the bag.  Mr Sunshine is very neat and tidy.  So it will be good to have him there to pick up my dirty knickers, cut the grass, and be an all-round womble.  I in turn, will clean (so much easier when the decks are clear).  He’s already volunteered to do the ironing too, so actually this is a monumental win.

Cons:  He gets on my tits.

Date nights and happy hour.

Pros:  Happy hour between our houses has become a bit of a tradition.  Every Saturday afternoon, Mr Sunshine opens a bottle of Prosecco and I get mildly inebriated as we ‘chat’.  I’m not stupid though.  Mr Sunshine has his motives.  He wants me pliable so that he can have his way…. with the remote control!!  Damn you, Sky Sports!  If it’s not football, it’s golf.  And if it’s neither of those then darts is next on the list.  I then have to endure the inane crap that falls out of his mouth, as he tells me what robbing bastards Paddy Power are, and that he bloody knew that he should have cashed out.  “Not cashing out has just cost me £7.50, Jane!”  Poor baby.  I do admit though, I love happy hour.  His incessant drivel is so much easier to stomach with the best part of a bottle down the hatch. Living together will mean that we can have happy hour on a Sunday too. Epic win!  

As we also love to entertain, being under the same roof will mean he has to pull his weight and share the load. The last time we had friends round for dinner, his sole contribution was nipping out to buy some horseradish.  Our friends then went on to publicly acknowledge on Facebook what a great time they’d had and “thanks Dave and Jane for hosting”!!! Pfft.

Cons:  He gets on my tits.

It’s a natural progression.

Pros:  As we’ve only been together for 13 years, I really don’t want to rush into things!  But the bottom line is that we love each other and want to be together; to be a normal, regular family.  I told Mr Sunshine yesterday that once he’s installed he’ll have to hand over some money to me each month, so that I can squirrel it away for (a debt free) Christmas, and a decent holiday (I already do this, he just needs to know that his contribution will be very welcome).  The look of horror on his face – I thought he was going to have a coronary as he turned a lovely shade of puce.  Sorry Mr Sunshine, it’s a deal breaker for me – at least once a year I need to bake myself in temperatures hotter than Gordon Effin’ Ramsey’s kitchen, and call me greedy but I want more than a chocolate orange and a bag of nuts at Christmas.

Cons:  He gets on my tits.

So you see my dilemma?  

Pros:  It’s a well-known fact that married people live longer, so I guess this would be the first step to adding extra years to our average three score and ten.  That is if we don’t kill each other.

Cons:  He gets on my tits.

When all is said and done though, I have no doubt that he is the man for me.  He’s loyal, loving and I trust him with my life; he really is one of the good ones and I couldn’t imagine my future without him.  

Oi, Dave, start packing….

My name is Jane.  Cohabitor in waiting.

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4 Comments

  1. Ian shelford

    30th May 2017 - 2:40 pm

    Pmsl. Welcome to the real world of married life or at the very least co habiting

    • Jane

      8th Jun 2017 - 8:17 am

      Thank you Mr Shelford! Don’t go buying your hat just yet…!

  2. Sarah

    3rd Jul 2017 - 12:36 pm

    Buy a large shed but it’s important that you call it his man cave, so he feels like it’s his and his alone. This way you can hide away all his (very important 😜) stuff!!

    • Jane

      10th Jul 2017 - 9:33 am

      Great idea! He’d love it! xxx

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About Me

I’m a 44 year old Mum to three gorgeous grown up girls and a beautiful boy. I live near St Neots in Cambridgeshire. For the last 13 years I’ve been happily attached to Mr Sunshine (aka Dave) who is Dad to our 9 year old son, and his 18 year old daughter.

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