Posts for Relationships Category
What Village Means to Me

What Village Means to Me

  • July 10, 2017
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We recently had a date night, Mr Sunshine and me.  Date nights force us to talk.  It’s not that we don’t usually talk, it’s that we have to get a bit more deep and meaningful than “what do you want for dinner?” or “where’re me effin’ car keys?”.  Yet for somebody who I often refer to as my 5th child, Mr Sunshine never surprises me with his wisdom.  Quite often I have to say “use your words, Dave” (I know! Bless him) as our conversations revolve around “the thing, Jane.  You know… the thingy… that...

Unjudging the Judged

Unjudging the Judged

  • May 22, 2017
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You’ll know by now that I’ve got a bit of a gob.  My mouth has got me into more trouble in the past than I’d care to admit to.  Simply because I sometimes forget to switch the filter on.  I have tried in the last few years, to just be more diplomatic in certain situations, and not to just gob off because the words are in my mouth before I’ve communicated them to my brain; after all, I was always taught “if you’ve got nothing nice to say, then say nothing”.  This is not to say that I’m unkind. Far from it.  I’m actually totally fucking fabulous.  It’s just that I can have the tendency to be a little, erm, honest!  I’d never go out of my way to upset anybody, or intentionally hurt anybody’s feelings, but sometimes, if something needs to be said, then what’s the point of keeping it in?

All of this can be quite conflicting at times, as I’m desperately mindful of raising my son Jude the right way. He’s such a sensitive little chap, and his calming personality keeps me well and truly in check, so whether it’s conscious or not, I’m just generally more ‘Jude’...

Moving In Together: To be or not to be, that is the question!

Moving In Together: To be or not to be, that is the question!

  • May 22, 2017
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Mr Sunshine wants to move in.  I’m almost certain I want him to.  Almost.  99% sure in fact.

We’ve been together for 13 years.  That’s pretty good going in this day and age.  But, ooh, I worry it’s lasted that long because we don’t live together.  We’ve been having ‘moving in conversations’ for a few weeks now. He’s told me he’s bored of living alone, he wants us to be together, and “the sooner the better Jane”.  The sooner the better actually means later on this year.  Mr Sunshine’s daughter is due to join the ranks of the poor student in September, so he feels that this will be the optimum time to pack up his shit, and move it into my house.  By shit, I mean things like this…..  and this….  and even bloody worse, this…. Where the hell am I going to find a ‘suitable’ place to hang these works of art???

Aside from all the paraphernalia, I worry that it won’t work; him living in my house.  Because then it will be ‘our’ house.  I don’t mean to sound selfish, as I’m the...

Mending our Fractured Relationship

Mending our Fractured Relationship

  • May 22, 2017
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Mr Sunshine and I have been together for 13 years. We very nearly didn’t make 12.

I was one of those statistics when I met him in 2004. The one that says nearly half of marriages end in divorce. Carrying some pretty hefty baggage in the form of three daughters from my car crash of a marriage, I didn’t for one moment expect that a blind date that had taken soooo long to arrange (it was set up by a mutual and childhood friend of mine) would ever turn in to what has been the best and most rewarding relationship of my life.

It sounds almost like a contradiction, doesn’t it? The best relationship of my life, which almost ended just about a year ago. And the weird thing is, I can’t put my finger on exactly what it was that drove me to ‘end’ things.

As I’d been so fiercely independent since my marriage ended, I found it really difficult to let anybody try and take care of me. Another contradiction; I wanted to be looked after, but I just couldn’t seem to hand over the reins. My divorce had been the longest and most nauseating journey to hell and back, with regular stops at Twat Central and Fuckedoverville, so my guard was...

My Old and Faithful Tea Towel

My Old and Faithful Tea Towel

  • May 22, 2017
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Mr Sunshine says I’m a hoarder.  He’s not completely wrong.  I hate to throw anything away which I think will come in handy and I also hate to throw anything away which holds any sentimental value.

He’s recently developed a penchant for racing through my house like a dose of salts, rounding up the crap, loading it into his car, and depositing it at the recycling centre.  So frequent are his trips of late that he’s on first name terms with one of the men that work there!  Generally I’m lucky if I get to audit the contents of his boot before he ‘liberates’ them, but now and again when I do I might be able to rescue one or two beloved items.

Take my tea towel for instance.  My pre-loved beautiful tea towel.  He thinks it’s ugly, thread bare and generally useless because it boasts a massive hole.  I think that although it’s not particularly aesthetically pleasing, it’s perfectly functional and that the hole gives it character. I WILL NOT part with it.  The reason for this, is that it belonged to my Grandma.

Emma Lines was 86 when she died in 2000.  She had grown up as part of a working...

Turning the Tables on Mum and Dad

Turning the Tables on Mum and Dad

  • May 22, 2017
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I light-heartedly and affectionately refer to my parents as ‘The Olds’.  Usually when I do, my tongue is pushed firmly into my cheek.  But it has occurred to me more and more in the last year or two that it’s actually true. My dear ol’ Ma and Pa are no longer in the middle age of life (it seems that term best describes me, more’s the pity), but are in fact in their twilight years.  After the last few months my sisters and I have had with them, I have come to the steady realisation that they are both in fact antique (look up the definition, and draw your own conclusions)!  That said, I’m not sure either of them would fetch much at auction.

It feels like just a few short years ago that The Olds were regularly playing squash and my Mum playing hockey.  My Dad would take me road running, finishing with sprints down the alley across the road from our house. He would give me a head start, and just as I was about to make it to the finish line, he would come whooshing past me, pipping me to the post. These days my Mum can barely walk more than a...

About Me

I’m a 44 year old Mum to three gorgeous grown up girls and a beautiful boy. I live near St Neots in Cambridgeshire. For the last 13 years I’ve been happily attached to Mr Sunshine (aka Dave) who is Dad to our 9 year old son, and his 18 year old daughter.

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